Still Grieving

May 21, 2012

Let's be real for a minute. My intentions for this blog is to be happy and carefree, but with recent events I feel like I want to dig a little deeper and show a side I usually would never show, especially on a public forum like this.

I know I have relatives who has passed, but I was either young or I honestly just didn't know them well enough. I have lost a friend or two, but we weren't friends, more like acquaintances. Two were girls I went to school with it and they were tragically killed in a car crash just months after we graduated high school by a drunk driver. Another one was from my old best friend's close friend, but her story is a little complicated to tell. I also mourned. One of the biggest blow to my heart was the death of a close friend of my husband and I's. SGT Darby T Morin, who will forever hold a special place in our hearts. He passed away August 2009 in Afghanistan. We met the Morin's at our first station in Fort Eustis, VA and we were about to reunite at Fort Drum, NY. I miss you Darby!
And currently, my heart is heavy again. It is painstakingly hard to write about and I can't help but to bawl at the same time. So, sorry if everything is so jumbled up. I first met Iz at a friends poker night where I must say, I totally won allllll their money *wootwoot* I didn't meet Rosina til we moved to Drum and they followed a month later. Let me just tell me, Ro & I hit it off quick and she quickly became my best friend at Drum. When our men deployed, she was my rock. When our husbands were gone at training or VIPS, she was my date. When her and Iz moved to a new station, I was so devastated! She is like a sister that I've never had and she always will be. But I am so blessed to have N meet Iz at EOD school and for me to meet Ro and have her be my sister. I am very very blessed to have them in my life. His funeral is being held this Friday on May 25, 2012 and I feel like it'll be that much more real. And I really don't want it to be. I didn't get to know Iz as Iz and I wish I got more time to. I do have a few memories... like how he and Ro came over for Thanksgiving and cooked because my husband was gone. My favorite was him letting me ride on the back of his motorcycle!! It was absolutely terrifying, but I felt like that was my special him with no one else around. Just the other day.. the sun was out, it was gorgeous and I spot a white butterfly flying around my backyard. First off, this is the first butterfly I have seen since we moved back and it was completely white. I honestly felt like it was Iz making his presence and blessing our home. And flying all over the weeds to show me that I need to learn to do some yard work haha Oh Iz... Wherever you are, please know N & I are always thinking of you, missing you and you have left a huge imprint in our soul. I love you and can't wait to see you again ♥ ♥ ♥

Alright, enough crying for tonight! I need to clean and do some late laundry because my babbbby is coming home tomorrow!!

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